Those are the smallest things that bug my mind the most.
Every our decision changes something. Every our decision has a consequence. Even if it's too insignificant to be called an actual "decision".
Butterfly effect, they call it.
"... 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 ... 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦." ©
Don't you think about it? And if you do, to what extent is it?
⠀
We are all wondering what would our lives have been right now, had we took different major life decisions.
What if I would have chosen another thing to study in college? What if I would have chosen another college? What if I would have accepted that job offer that I didn't?
What if I wouldn't have started that relationship? What if I wouldn't have finished it?
What if I wouldn't have moved to that country? What if I would have moved to that country? What if I would have moved to another country?
Those are the common questions that are popping up in the minds of all of us time from time.
"Jeez, if only I could see how my life would've been right now, had I chosen the other opportunity..."
⠀
What about the "...small change in one state..." though? The smallest things are the ones bugging me.
Does it bother anyone as much as it is bothering me? Coz sometimes I cannot escape from those thoughts, I just cannot. Am I going crazy?
⠀
Look, I ate a sandwich for breakfast today. Would it really change anything if I ate a salad instead? Would it change anything if I ate fried eggs instead? Would it change anything if I took a tea alongside with my sandwich instead of coffee? Would it?
Would it change anything if I took a coffee with milk during lunch instead of a simple coffee?
Would it really change anything if I talked to that person for one more minute than I did? Or one less minute? If I said one word differently?
Would it change anything if I had bought another shampoo instead of the one that I have? If I cleaned my room tomorrow instead of today?
Three years ago that person on the street said hello to me but I didn't recognize them so I just kept walking away, feeling awkward. Would it change anything if I did say hello?
Would it change anything if I watched another movie today instead of the one I watched? If I ordered another dish at the restaurant? If I wore other clothes? Or another hairstyle? If I stayed at home instead of going out with my friends? If I did go out, but to another place? If I didn't write this post?
⠀
How much all those minor decisions actually affected my life? How much the things that are not straight-forward related affect one another? The most insignificant and unrelatable things imaginable.
⠀
If I stayed for just one more beer at the bar tonight, could I have met a new person that would become my business partner in a few years and create the partneship that would make us go to Forbes top?
If I wrote one more message to a friend today looking at the phone on the way to the bar, could I miss a step, fall down, break my spine and become paralyzed forever?
If I decided to order take-away food to home for dinner instead of cooking by myself, could that delivery guy become my "love at the first sight" and "till death do us part" person?
If I took just one more bite from the cookie while watching series, could I choke on it and... well, just die today?
⠀
The multiverse theory doesn't in fact seem real to me, but I cannot stop thinking about it.
There are at least a million options of what I could do differently at every second of my life, doesn't it mean anything? What about those million different possibilities? Million different universes? Aren't they existing?
Aren't there places and times where I do something differently?
And if I do, what happens then? How does it turn out?
How much my breakfast today affects my conditions of life in 10 years? Does it at all? Does it make sense? Am I just going crazy?